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Ten things every newly engaged Nigeria lady shouldn't do before marriage

The excitement of getting engaged by a long-term or newly found partner can be overwhelming, knowing you’re getting married soon and breaking out of singlehood. 

However, it is possible to destroy your potential marriage plans by doing things you shouldn't do before marriage. This article aims to reveal ten things every newly engaged Nigerian girl should avoid before marriage.

Here are ten things a newly engaged Nigerian girl should avoid doing before marriage

1. Comparing other weddings to yours
I get it, you want that dream wedding in one of the most luxurious hotels in Nigeria. Everyone also wants that! But what you shouldn't do is complain to your potential husband about how blush and bliss other weddings you attended were and how yours must be even better. 

Avoiding this will not only give you a satisfied mind when getting married but also shows you’re well okay with what you have; of course chopping in a subtle idea here and there is definitely okay.

2. Paying deaf ears to wise counseling of marriage
It’s okay to feel the older and wiser folks are a bit clingy to your future life as a Nigerian woman. You often hear things like, “Is this how you'd behave in your husbands' house!" these questions often seem deteriorating and incessantly frustrating, but there are also good things to take out from these words. 

No matter how frustrated and upset you may get, it is better to heed wise counseling. They will only help you better understand the marriage path and better navigate your way when you get married; after all, they were there before you and better understand how marriage works.

3. Being around your potential partner 24/7
If there's one thing Nigerian men get tired of easily, it's being around them 24/7, this includes calls and messages every minute you get, visiting and staying over every day, wanting to go out with them at all times, and being with them 24hours in a day. 

While this isn’t an Ill intention, it will tire them out easily, and in worst cases, they may be forced to call it quits. Men love girls who keep them on their toes at all times; this makes a man want you more! 

He had to chase you to get you engaged, so don't try to quench this fire by making yourself available at all times, this will bore him out, and he may start looking for that excitement outside your engagement.

4. Neglecting the evaluation phase
Most newly engaged Nigerian girls will fill their minds with having the wedding of the century or wearing the most expensive wedding dresses and boasting how lit their bridal train's going to be.

 Well, that's a good thing too, but have you evaluated your potential partner? This may sound a bit harsh, but most newly engaged girls skip this phase. Getting to know about your potential husband, attitude, and personality; does he get upset easily? Or keep late nights or even drinks! 

These are subtle facts that'll help you throughout your marriage life and may also help you decide if indeed the handsome and well-groomed man is the right one for you! It's not all about looks and assets; his firm understanding of your emotions, needs are very pivotal.

5. Skipping the personal questions
Speaking about the evaluation process, it is vital to ask personal questions after being engaged as a Nigerian lady prior to your marriage. 

Below are some important questions to help you get started;
- The HIV status and blood group question
- Number of intended children (helps in family planning)
- Family disease history
- Know his faith (Religion)
- Does he have problems with you inviting family or friends over?
- Know about his plans for the future
- What are his fears about marriage( this could include; death, not being able to sustain the family due to loss of a job, or pretty much any marriage fears)

The above questions should help you stay on the safe side to avoid stories that touch.

6. Letting everyone know you’re engaged
Don’t get me wrong but having to keep pretty much every plan you have about your intended marriage is a luxury not everyone can afford. 

This is more intense, especially in Nigeria, as not everyone is happy with your progress. Worst still, having to tell your friends who aren't married that you've been engaged could put your marriage plans at risk If they aren’t happy with you leaving the singlehood.

7. Avoid any past relationship; you’re engaged now!
How do I stress this further? Not all Nigerian guys are cool with you having to hang out with exes or keeping besties! This will ruin your newfound relationship even if your intentions are pure; your potential partner could be harboring negative thoughts which could lead to a sour relationship.

 Avoid this at all cost, if possible, cut all ties with your ex; that includes not conversing with them on social media calling each other or hanging out together.

8. Trying to neglect his family
Ever heard the saying “ Never mess with a mans' family?” same applies to men in Nigeria. Men love their families, and if you're to gain his love and affection it would be wise not to try and make him neglect his family in any way as this could sabotage your relationship. 

A family member comes over? Fine, treat them as yours and show the same love and affection you would if they were your family; chances are they may even urge him to make you his wife earlier than expected.

9. Neglecting the fact that you may get pregnant
After being engaged, it is quite okay to have fun with your potential partner but have you thought of the fact that you may get pregnant in the process? 

Let's face it, most Nigerian men may have the intentions of marriage but the idea of pregnancy could well destroy his plans for you if he isn’t ready for that. 

My advice, avoid premarital intercourse! Not every man wants to marry you. Some may want to "chop and clean mouth," as they say.

10. Don’t stress it!
The feeling of getting married after an engagement can be exciting. You may go ahead and start planning the whole wedding process in your head, thinking of possible venues, bridal trains, and best photoshoot locations and all this can be mentally stressful and isn't good for your either. 

Relax and enjoy the whole process, take things one at a time and remember, it is just a party and will last for a day.

There you have it, ten things every newly engaged Nigerian girl shouldn't do before marriage.

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